The Subtleties of Double Standards in Business

Bias doesn’t always show up as a shouted insult, a closed door, or an outright refusal. More often, it lives in the subtleties—the quiet ways people are treated differently depending on who they are. These subtle double standards are harder to spot, but they can be just as damaging.

What Double Standards Look Like

One common example happens in something as simple as introductions. A list of men might be referred to as “Mr. Smith, Mr. Johnson, Mr. Lee…” while the women in the same list are introduced by first name only: “Susan, Amanda, Claire…” On the surface, it may seem harmless. But the unspoken message is clear: the men are given formality and authority, while the women are framed as casual or less professional.

Other examples include:

• Feedback: Men may be told they are “confident” while women are labeled “aggressive” for the same behavior.

• Networking: A man arriving late to a meeting is “busy” or “in demand.” A woman arriving late is “disorganized.”

• Opportunities: Men are often promoted based on potential, while women are asked to prove past performance again and again.

• Work/Life Balance: Fathers may be praised for leaving early to attend a child’s game, while mothers are questioned about their commitment.

These aren’t always intentional, but they reveal ingrained patterns that shape how people are perceived—and how their careers unfold.

The Role of Conditioning

Here’s the harder truth: women don’t just experience these double standards, we often accept them—sometimes even participate in them. After a lifetime of conditioning, we’ve been taught to laugh off the small slights, to downplay the inequities, to let “Mr. Smith” keep his title while “Susan” gets none.

It doesn’t mean women are to blame—it means the system is powerful. It has trained us to normalize what isn’t normal, to excuse what isn’t excusable. Recognizing this is not about shame; it’s about permission. Permission to stop brushing it off. Permission to name it as bias. Permission to say: this is not acceptable, and it is not deserved.

Why It Matters

Double standards may feel subtle, but they have a cumulative effect. Over time, they chip away at confidence, credibility, and opportunity. They create workplaces where certain voices are given more weight, while others are quietly diminished.

And because they’re “small,” they’re easy to dismiss: “It’s not a big deal.” But it is a big deal—because the subtle moments add up to systemic imbalance.

What We Can Do

The first step is awareness. Notice when you are holding people to different standards—are you unconsciously giving formality to one group and familiarity to another? Are you labeling behaviors differently depending on who displays them?

Then, commit to naming it. If you hear women introduced by first names while men are given titles, politely correct it. If feedback is skewed by bias, reframe it. If you catch yourself reinforcing a double standard, stop and choose differently. These interventions may feel small, but they begin to shift the culture toward fairness.

A Call to Consciousness

Double standards thrive in silence. The more we call them out, the less power they hold. If we want workplaces where everyone has equal opportunity to grow and lead, we must pay attention to the subtleties.

And to the women reading this: you do not have to accept these patterns. You do not have to shrink, excuse, or normalize bias. It is not acceptable. It is not deserved. Naming it is not weakness—it’s courage. And it’s how change begins.